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Corn Latkes

Updated: Nov 10, 2022

People think they know as much as they need to know about George Hamilton. I would say nobody knows as much as they need to know about George Hamilton. In fact, I'd argue that that people only know the most superficial aspect of George Hamilton: the tan.

My earliest experience of George Hamilton was Love At First Bite. Some people may remember the date-rapey Where the Boys Are. Or By Love Possessed, where he plays the feckless trophy-boy of a wealthy socialite who runs off with a slutty girl, gets accused of raping the slutty girl, then flees rather than face charges, causing his heartbroken fiance to commit suicide. That's a good one. Or Light in the Piazza, in which his character, Fabrizio, falls in love with a brain damaged American girl. The parents try to separate them. No one in the film seems to notice that Fabrizio is apparently brain damaged himself. They are a perfect match. George's entire body of cinematic work is worth exploring. Especially the one where he plays the smartest man in the world, with the ability to slay people with his mind.

It is a mistake to try to identify the essence of a George Hamilton film. You have to appreciate the existentialia- the hair, the shoes, Yvette Mimeux. Being George Hamilton is a performative act. There is no simple truth there. Is he merely an actor, or is he performing himself? He is as he does. We must respond, in kind, with our whole Being.

Today I had five ears of corn, and did not want to do the usual thing, and a Smitten Kitchen recipe for corn fritters caught my eye. I had the ingredients, or suitable substitutes, in my fridge. This recipe was incredibly simple, and took no time. They can be accompanied by a spicy mayonnaise, but are good all by themselves.


5-6 ears of corn

1 bunch (~6) scallions, chopped into 1/2 inch pieces

1/2 cup of Pecorino Romano

1/4 cup chopped parsley

1/4 cup chopped cilantro

4 eggs

1 cup of flour

salt and pepper

vegetable oil


Shuck five ears of corn. I HATE shucking corn. Almost as much as that disgusting hairy corn silk that sticks to everything. I figured something out though. Use a low bowl and put a small cutting board in it, so that the repeated hitting of the knife blade against the china of the bowl does not dull your knife or push that misophonia button deep inside your head over and over.

Once all corn is shucked, add 1/2 cup of any grated cheese you like (I had a left over block of Pecorino Romano, which worked great), four eggs, chopped up scallions, 1/2 cup of whatever herbs you have (I had some parsley and cilantro in the crisper, both on their way out), 1 cup of flour, salt and pepper to taste. You need the whole cup of flour to make the batter hold together.

Mix it all together, and make flattish patties no bigger that the area of a spatula.

Heat about an inch of oil in a big frying pan with sides. I use a thermometer because I have made the mistake of frying things to nuggets in too-hot oil. 320 degrees or so is fine. I fry no more than two or three at a time to prevent crowding and to ensure the oil stayed hot. Unlike french fries, which can wilt when they are out of the oil for any length of time before serving, these fritters stay decently crisp in a warm oven.

So, frying. This is not deep frying, but a low bath of oil, like fried chicken frying. And like chicken, it should be fried to a crispy, deep, golden brown.

George knows this. He's the smartest man in the world and he will slay you with his mind.

Here is a the link to the original Smitten Kitchen recipe, which has many alternative ingredients and flavors.

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